Wonkizzle
09-07-2007, 07:12 PM
Ahh Bioshock. You've played it, I've played it, my pet fish is on the waiting list behind my dog to give it a go. You're about to read a review where time has no meaning. You're about to read... The TWSS Review. *Doo Dee Doo Doo, Doo Dee Doo Doo*
This FPS, as other games I might decide to review, has a number of unique qualities which I can only describe in my own terms. They will be explained, and possibly recycled for future use in other reviews. So learn them, know them, be them.
In Bioshock, you play a seemingly harmless man, minding his own business, staring at a photo of his family. When you're literally BLASTED into the water, due to a crash. Your life will never be the same.
Right from the get-go, this game doesn't feel like a FPS. Yes you have guns, you're viewing in first person, but for some reason, its different, and you cant explain it. Lucky you, I can. I call this the "Pwnage Effect". Whereas you become so immersed in gameplay, you forget which qualities make the game you're playing so unique, thereby serving its purpose as a truly unique game. Still with me? Excellent.
The gameplay is not the only thing unique about this game. In fact, literally everything about this game has a unique feel to it. Characters, enemies, scenery, weapons, skills, all of it. I call this, the "Shnap Factor". Where everything in the game you're playing is so unique, so top of the charts good, you're simply amazed when you realize its 100% unique, from its name, to its end credits.
The characters in this game (Although you only ever meet a handful in person... Spoiler Alert? Nah.) all have excellent voice acting, and tend to play a crucial role in the games story one way or another. Whether its simply listening to their diary to find the code to unlock the door in the next room, to an important plot point in the game, it was very well-done. I call this effect, the "Gravy Involvement". Where the developers wasted no time, and truly made sure that every character was unique, and played a significant role in the game.
Enemies. Need I say more? I think so.
This game is filled to the brim with enemies that range from scaring the piss out of you because you turned around and BAM there he was, to making you laugh for being covered in paper mache, and placed in a funny, yet strangely awkward position. By far, the character that scares you the most, is undoubtedly the Big Daddies. Youre minding your own business, when you feel the ground shake, look up, and see a little sister, leading a Big Daddy, and you think "Oh, Shi-BLAM BLAM BLAM". Sure you can hide, and sneak attack, but wheres the fun in that? Guns blazing mofo, thats how I roll. Don't judge me. This amazing quality of enemies ranging from guys with pipes, to guys 3x the size with a Rivet Gun, I further dub "Operation WTFLOLNICE"
A great idea in this game that was implemented was hacking. You can hack the security cameras, gun turrets, security bots, all to work for you and against the enemy. I felt VERY nostalgic playing "Pipe Dream" again. For those of you who don't know, Pipe Dream was an old classic for the NES, in which you complete a series of pipes together to keep water from escaping. Essentially, thats the same thing you face when hacking, just with electric current. This unique style of mini game goodness, I will call "OMGHAX", this term will probably never be used again, beyond this game.
The scenery, and graphics, are one of a kind (Thus far), for at least a console like the Xbox 360. You really feel like you're in an underwater city, thats literally bursting at its seams and is about to flood in and kill your ass. Water effects are not the least bit disappointing, when water falls on your head, you see it. When it blasts in your face, you see it. Textures, scenery, enemies, are truly beautiful. This kind of hard work in a video game is one that you can tell had been perfected with what they have to work with. I call this, the "Hellz Yeah Reaction"
Overall, this game is simply awesome. I give it a 9.5 out of 10 for two reasons. The first being that no one really... blows up. I know thats not a big deal to some people, but when I aim a grenade launcher at a person, I expect their insides to be on the wall. Reason number 2, its simply too short a game for such a great story. Even 12-20 hours doesn't seem like enough time for such a great game. So, to summarize, if youre looking for all of these characteristics in a game, including (But not limited to) Pwnage Effect, Shnap Factor, Gravy Involvement, WTFLOLNICE, OMGHAX, and Hellz Yeah Reaction, pick this game up immediately. You will not be dissapointed.
This review has been brought to you by me. Ashmedai.
Hope you have as good of a time as I did with it.
... Thats what she said.
This FPS, as other games I might decide to review, has a number of unique qualities which I can only describe in my own terms. They will be explained, and possibly recycled for future use in other reviews. So learn them, know them, be them.
In Bioshock, you play a seemingly harmless man, minding his own business, staring at a photo of his family. When you're literally BLASTED into the water, due to a crash. Your life will never be the same.
Right from the get-go, this game doesn't feel like a FPS. Yes you have guns, you're viewing in first person, but for some reason, its different, and you cant explain it. Lucky you, I can. I call this the "Pwnage Effect". Whereas you become so immersed in gameplay, you forget which qualities make the game you're playing so unique, thereby serving its purpose as a truly unique game. Still with me? Excellent.
The gameplay is not the only thing unique about this game. In fact, literally everything about this game has a unique feel to it. Characters, enemies, scenery, weapons, skills, all of it. I call this, the "Shnap Factor". Where everything in the game you're playing is so unique, so top of the charts good, you're simply amazed when you realize its 100% unique, from its name, to its end credits.
The characters in this game (Although you only ever meet a handful in person... Spoiler Alert? Nah.) all have excellent voice acting, and tend to play a crucial role in the games story one way or another. Whether its simply listening to their diary to find the code to unlock the door in the next room, to an important plot point in the game, it was very well-done. I call this effect, the "Gravy Involvement". Where the developers wasted no time, and truly made sure that every character was unique, and played a significant role in the game.
Enemies. Need I say more? I think so.
This game is filled to the brim with enemies that range from scaring the piss out of you because you turned around and BAM there he was, to making you laugh for being covered in paper mache, and placed in a funny, yet strangely awkward position. By far, the character that scares you the most, is undoubtedly the Big Daddies. Youre minding your own business, when you feel the ground shake, look up, and see a little sister, leading a Big Daddy, and you think "Oh, Shi-BLAM BLAM BLAM". Sure you can hide, and sneak attack, but wheres the fun in that? Guns blazing mofo, thats how I roll. Don't judge me. This amazing quality of enemies ranging from guys with pipes, to guys 3x the size with a Rivet Gun, I further dub "Operation WTFLOLNICE"
A great idea in this game that was implemented was hacking. You can hack the security cameras, gun turrets, security bots, all to work for you and against the enemy. I felt VERY nostalgic playing "Pipe Dream" again. For those of you who don't know, Pipe Dream was an old classic for the NES, in which you complete a series of pipes together to keep water from escaping. Essentially, thats the same thing you face when hacking, just with electric current. This unique style of mini game goodness, I will call "OMGHAX", this term will probably never be used again, beyond this game.
The scenery, and graphics, are one of a kind (Thus far), for at least a console like the Xbox 360. You really feel like you're in an underwater city, thats literally bursting at its seams and is about to flood in and kill your ass. Water effects are not the least bit disappointing, when water falls on your head, you see it. When it blasts in your face, you see it. Textures, scenery, enemies, are truly beautiful. This kind of hard work in a video game is one that you can tell had been perfected with what they have to work with. I call this, the "Hellz Yeah Reaction"
Overall, this game is simply awesome. I give it a 9.5 out of 10 for two reasons. The first being that no one really... blows up. I know thats not a big deal to some people, but when I aim a grenade launcher at a person, I expect their insides to be on the wall. Reason number 2, its simply too short a game for such a great story. Even 12-20 hours doesn't seem like enough time for such a great game. So, to summarize, if youre looking for all of these characteristics in a game, including (But not limited to) Pwnage Effect, Shnap Factor, Gravy Involvement, WTFLOLNICE, OMGHAX, and Hellz Yeah Reaction, pick this game up immediately. You will not be dissapointed.
This review has been brought to you by me. Ashmedai.
Hope you have as good of a time as I did with it.
... Thats what she said.